YES! Sorry I don't mean to yell. But I want anyone who may find this to know that yes, you can survive it.
Your marriage will be be different than before, but it might be better. If you decide on reconciliation know that you can do it. Expect ups and downs. Don't expect it to be fast. There is a very good chance that your communication will be better than before. I will never ever say a spouse has a reason to look outside their marriage, but lack of communication is the number one reason listed for the causes of affairs.
So the very first thing, after deciding you want to save your marriage, is find a counselor,pastor or some professional that can help open the lines of communication. You may not need ongoing sessions, but please believe me, they help open the lines of communication. Handsome and I only went a few times, but it was enough to to teach us some skills that we desperately needed.
It also served a huge purpose, it showed Handsome that he could tell me his feelings and I would not be angry.
You see, he never said anything because he was afraid of my reaction. Fair or not, it was how he felt. I had to show him that he could tell me how he felt,and I would not get angry,but discuss the issue. And that took a professional being there to help make both of us feel safe.
So please, get help, even for one or two sessions.
I can honestly say now that handsome and I communicate better now than we ever did. We still are learning, every day.. but for some reason tonight I felt led to post this bit of hope for the one person who may not be sure you can survive an emotional affair, I am here to tell you YES YOU CAN.
Peace and blessings
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