ankylosing spondylitis
If you want you can google it. In a nutshell it is a type of condition comparable to rheumatoid arthritis or psoriatic arthritis. It will not ever go away, but comes and goes in what they term "flares". That explains why it seems nothing ever triggers my pain, and then it goes away.
The condition scares me, but like I said, it gives me a certain peace knowing that there is indeed something wrong with my back. In this day and age, it just seems like you tell a doctor that you have back pain and they look at you like you just want drugs, well usually when people go to the doctor, they ARE in pain and DO need meds to help. Sadly that makes anyone seeking pain relief a doper to some doctors. My general practitioner in particular. I have had this problem so long, and anytime it got out of control I would ask for pain meds and rehab. He would give me 15 pain pills. That was nothing, and I could take them in four or five days. Now a flare is not always for months, but it can be.
You see, finding out I had something was better than it being some random pain that I was being a baby about. When I finally went to the specialist, I explained that I fear that I will be prematurely aged by this. What I mean was I am active. I like to garden and hike and play with my twin grandkids, and motorcycle for days, I am active. As the pain became too much, I was loosing my ability to ignore the pain and be active, because that is what I have had to do for so long. I have lived in pain for so many years now, that I just fight my way thru it to be able to LIVE. I told the Dr that I cannot give up my activities, I see so many younger people who use canes ect because of back pain. What I have is actually in my sacroiliac joint not my back proper, as well as affecting my knee, (although I did not know they were connected till after my diagnosis) and when I lean forward it doesnt hurt so much, like people with canes. I will not let that happen, and thank God, this doctor said he wont either! I told him I push thru the pain , I keep active, but that some days it is sooo hard to do. But he said that is was no problem to give me the pain meds to take on a schedule. They are very very mild and do help. This will probably progress though and as it does I will have to go see a different doctor and may have to be put on methotrexate or one of the strong meds they give for it. I hope that it never progresses to that point.
This diagnosis also explains a bunch of other things that happened in the past five years, I had a terrible hip problem about three or four years ago. I could hardly walk, they could not find anything wrong ( again, I was feeling like a hypochondriac) I ended up getting two injections in it and it hurt for almost a year, then bam, one day it is better. I went from being almost unable to walk to fine. It was another time I felt like what the heck, I did nothing to hurt myself, and doctors just don't like hearing that. About three months ago my knee started hurting so bad I could hardly step on it. I figured shoot, I did something to that now. Well I noticed that when my back was bad, so was my knee. Well the doctor said yes that is what a flare is. He helped me by validating that there was something physically wrong with me. I am not a drug seeker and I AM in pain, and there is a very real reason for the pain. Trust me when I say I would rather not have this at all, and I would much rather not be living in pain, but now I feel validated. Now I know it is not in my head. Or that I am a weakling and cannot deal with pain. I have been for so so long. I am taking one pill three times daily now, and am in so much more comfort. It is better than the 4 ibuprofen I was taking 4 times a day, that was eating my stomach and not working anymore. Now I can get out of bed in the morning and know I will be able to move after my shower. I can go to bed at night and actually roll over instead of pulling the sides of the bed to help me roll over.
I don't want this condition, but at least it is not in my head.
Peace and Blessings!
LTW
No comments:
Post a Comment