I am of an age that I certainly should not worry about what my mom thinks, but I do lol. For my whole youth, and young mother hood, and even when my children were teens, I was adamant about no tattoos. I had many reasons for it then, I was attending a very legalistic church, and that helped to influence my opinion of them.
When Handsome had his emotional affair my life was turned upside down. As I moved away from the legalistic church many years ago, my attitude about tattoos had changed. I had seen many beautiful ones, many professing faith, some fun ones. Of course there will always be ugly ones, that say ugly things, but it is that freedom to choose which is a wonderful thing.
I was struggling so badly during this period, nothing in my life that I thought was the truth turned out to be lies. Things I believed with all my heart, things I had faith in, turned out to be false. When something like that happens it shakes you to your core, and makes you question so many other things. I prayed, constantly for help in discerning the truth in my life , what could I truly believe.
Then I saw the answer. The ONLY truth in my life, now and forever is GOD LOVES ME. The only truth was Jesus SAVED me. As I prayed and realized the truth of this I decided at 48 to get a tattoo, to mark it and proclaim it. So I had a wonderful friend draw me a simple cross of nails and then had in big bold Hebrew letters Truth tattooed underneath it. Now I can truly say, had I gotten a tattoo when I was in my twenties, I would never ever put the thought into it that I had. I can only imagine what might of ended up on my body lol.. This tattoo is under my hair on my neck and I can show it when I want to, or not if I do not. So my mother in all these years hasnt seen it. But I broke the ice last year, I have a favorite card that my dad sent me before he died. I have it on my mirror in my bedroom, and when I miss him (which is all the time) or when I am sad, I take it out and look at his signature to me and it makes me smile. So I decided to have his signature blown up and tattoo on my inner right arm as well as the verse that I had inscribed on his tombstone ( not the whole verse but the reference) It is Isaiah:40 30-31
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
What an amazing promise, it was a verse I taped up for him when he had an open heart surgery. As a result of that verse he loved eagles after that , and what the symbol represented to him. That tattoo has brought me more comfort than I can tell you. Well that one I could not hide from my mom, and when she saw it, she really said nothing about it lol. Like seriously, what on earth can my mother do, I am over 50 lol. But still when I visit, I never ever wear my hair up. Well it is going to be hot this summer, and by golly I am going to wear it up. I really am proud of my tattoo on my neck, it proclaims for all to see that I claim Jesus and the Cross to be the way the TRUTH and my light.
But a really cool thing happened at church the other week. Our worship leader has tattoos, and a girl came up to her after services and said how glad she was to see someone in leadership with tattoos. This girl used to play in her worship band at church, and had gotten a small and totally beautiful tattoo, and her church told her she could no longer use her God given gift to serve God, because she had a tattoo. So she found our church, and when she saw our worship leader on the stage with her tattoos, she knew God brought her there. She has a beautiful voice and has joined our worship team. She feels loved and valued here. What a shame her old church really lost out. How many people make snap judgments based on a persons appearance, without knowing their heart.
I go see mom in two months, I will be wearing a high pony tail, and you know what, my mom will love me just as much as she always has.
Take time, learn a persons story before you judge them.
Peace and Blessings!
LTW
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Onion snow
A little more than a week ago I was planting onions and peas. Today it was snowing. ARGGGG
I want to garden so bad, all my tomato starts are going gangbusters as well as peppers and basil and some zinnia seeds. I was getting ready to plant potatoes, but between the rain and the snow, that may not happen for another week. I am jonzing for a good garden day!
So around here, when it snows after most people have planted their onions they call it an onion snow. In different parts of the country it is called different things. I have heard of blackberry snow too.
Do you have a local term for the crazy snow that comes when it should be all over?
I am ready to play in dirt, how about you??
I want to garden so bad, all my tomato starts are going gangbusters as well as peppers and basil and some zinnia seeds. I was getting ready to plant potatoes, but between the rain and the snow, that may not happen for another week. I am jonzing for a good garden day!
So around here, when it snows after most people have planted their onions they call it an onion snow. In different parts of the country it is called different things. I have heard of blackberry snow too.
Do you have a local term for the crazy snow that comes when it should be all over?
I am ready to play in dirt, how about you??
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Want to make a correction
I think perhaps I was misunderstood in my post about baptism. I believe that baptism should be a full immersion , as it was for Jesus when He was baptized, and it also is a symbolic joining of the Death, Burial , and Resurrection of Christ.
When I said it was a heart matter, I was describing my brother in law. He is physically incapable of being immersed in water, he is large and paralyzed over half his body. In his case, I 100% believe that God knows BIL heart, and knows that if he could, he would have been immersed, but he was baptized just the same as the people who were immersed this past weekend.
I hope and pray to never argue about our faith, because as individuals we all make certain decisions based on the free will we were given. I hope that at its core, we all love the Lord, and that is the common string we carry.
Being baptized does not get you to heaven, a heart that turns to the Lord, and repents of his sins will be saved!
I hope you all have a blessed day!
Peace and Blessings
LTW
When I said it was a heart matter, I was describing my brother in law. He is physically incapable of being immersed in water, he is large and paralyzed over half his body. In his case, I 100% believe that God knows BIL heart, and knows that if he could, he would have been immersed, but he was baptized just the same as the people who were immersed this past weekend.
I hope and pray to never argue about our faith, because as individuals we all make certain decisions based on the free will we were given. I hope that at its core, we all love the Lord, and that is the common string we carry.
Being baptized does not get you to heaven, a heart that turns to the Lord, and repents of his sins will be saved!
I hope you all have a blessed day!
Peace and Blessings
LTW
Monday, April 20, 2015
Amazing Sunday
I had an incredibly blessed Sunday!
I work for a large non denominational church, and we were having Baptism services at all three services this weekend. As some of you may know, I think I have spoken about it, my Brother In Law (BIL) is in a nursing home near to my home. It is a very sad and pathetic case, his wife abandoned him at the hospital after he suffered a third stroke. She had quit caring for him, stopped buying his medicine and was not providing nutritious food for him. It was terrible and awful, and all I could do was offer to find a nursing home out by us (he lived over an hour from us) where we could at least pick him up to see his mom, and I could take him to church every week. He is only 53...
Anyway, I asked BIL if he wanted baptized and he said YES! He could not be fully immersed as the others were, but baptism is a heart issue, not whether you were able to go underwater. It was pretty amazing, he hugged the pastor ( he is paralyzed on one side, and cannot speak well) as he sat down in the wheel chair he said AWESOME! The whole church started clapping for him. It was a humbling moment, his life is so small, and the relationship he has with the Lord has grown amazingly, to him this was AWESOME!
The other very cool thing that happened was that my Pastor preached on Acts and explained baptism to the whole congregation, and opened the baptism up to anyone who had accepted Christ. The church provided clothes, makeup for the ladies, underwear, anything that was needed so the person could be baptized if they wanted to.
Well over two HUNDRED people in three services came forward to be baptized~! We had over three hundred people baptized this weekend. And for every single person to be baptized the whole church cheered. It was heartwarming and humbling watching all these people profess their faith like this.
Some days, because I work for a church, I forget to be at church, if you understand? I have to make sure that I still come to worship and to listen to the Word.
Yesterday, I was at church, I was humbled and moved to tears at the amazing thing I was witnessing. It was a really wonderful service.....
And then to top the day off, I had the whole family for Sunday dinner, I try so hard to do this as much as possible, I want my grand babies to grow up going to Gamma's for dinner on Sunday....And nothing tops off a day like happy hugs from my sweet grands!
I also am finally able to put my tomato and pepper starts outside some to start hardening off some. I think I thought I had more room than I really do, boy or boy do I have the tomatoes!!
I hope that your weekend was wonderful, and that this week brings you all joy~
Peace and Blessings!
LTW
I work for a large non denominational church, and we were having Baptism services at all three services this weekend. As some of you may know, I think I have spoken about it, my Brother In Law (BIL) is in a nursing home near to my home. It is a very sad and pathetic case, his wife abandoned him at the hospital after he suffered a third stroke. She had quit caring for him, stopped buying his medicine and was not providing nutritious food for him. It was terrible and awful, and all I could do was offer to find a nursing home out by us (he lived over an hour from us) where we could at least pick him up to see his mom, and I could take him to church every week. He is only 53...
Anyway, I asked BIL if he wanted baptized and he said YES! He could not be fully immersed as the others were, but baptism is a heart issue, not whether you were able to go underwater. It was pretty amazing, he hugged the pastor ( he is paralyzed on one side, and cannot speak well) as he sat down in the wheel chair he said AWESOME! The whole church started clapping for him. It was a humbling moment, his life is so small, and the relationship he has with the Lord has grown amazingly, to him this was AWESOME!
The other very cool thing that happened was that my Pastor preached on Acts and explained baptism to the whole congregation, and opened the baptism up to anyone who had accepted Christ. The church provided clothes, makeup for the ladies, underwear, anything that was needed so the person could be baptized if they wanted to.
Well over two HUNDRED people in three services came forward to be baptized~! We had over three hundred people baptized this weekend. And for every single person to be baptized the whole church cheered. It was heartwarming and humbling watching all these people profess their faith like this.
Some days, because I work for a church, I forget to be at church, if you understand? I have to make sure that I still come to worship and to listen to the Word.
Yesterday, I was at church, I was humbled and moved to tears at the amazing thing I was witnessing. It was a really wonderful service.....
And then to top the day off, I had the whole family for Sunday dinner, I try so hard to do this as much as possible, I want my grand babies to grow up going to Gamma's for dinner on Sunday....And nothing tops off a day like happy hugs from my sweet grands!
I also am finally able to put my tomato and pepper starts outside some to start hardening off some. I think I thought I had more room than I really do, boy or boy do I have the tomatoes!!
I hope that your weekend was wonderful, and that this week brings you all joy~
Peace and Blessings!
LTW
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
My mother in law, pain, and dealing with the government.
I am so upset.
My mother in law lives with us, and has for 13 years. I will be the first to say this has not been easy, not so much because of her, but the crap I have to deal with from his family.
No, it has been hard to loose our privacy, I have to be honest. I sometimes think it lead to Handsome running away and having his affair. I have to be honest, sometimes I have felt like running away from all of the responsibility.
Not today though. My MIL is 87, has chronic diseases, too many to list. The fact of the matter, they told me when she came to us that she would not last a year. 13 years ago. Somehow we have managed all her problems to at least keep her happy and out of a nursing home. As she has aged and gotten worse we enrolled her in a State program ( she is destitute, which is why she came to us), that is designed to keep people out of the nursing home, and help the family that is caring for the elder person. I was having a terrible time keeping up with her appointments and my full time work. Something was going to have to give, and I was afraid she was going to end up in a nursing home after all. That is when we enrolled her, the caveat being, she had to be treated by their Dr,s in their center's. She goes to the center twice a week for social interaction and therapy, and if she needs to see the dr or nurse, she can on those days. It has been a big help. Until now. And I don't know what to do.
She is in pain, terrible awful pain. Pain that they are having a hard time "pinning down" because she is hard to talk to. It is much too long of a story, but because of her LIFE until she came to us, she HAD to be compliant, so she answers any question with what she thinks you want to hear. It is hard, very hard if you do not know her.
Yesterday I could not take it, I called them and insisted they see her that day, I would leave work and take her. She is loosing weight rapidly, and looking awful. She cannot sit from the pain, she cannot stand. Now I understand that her health is frail. I understand that you cannot give her huge pain medicine BUT they are not giving her any pain relief. They have diagnosed sciatica on both sides, which I don't believe is the cause, it is very rare to have on both sides. I would like a colonoscopy, she has blood in her stool. She is on 200 mg a day of gabapentin for pain, and that dose my friends is lower than the dose I am giving my 50 pound elderly DOG, plus the dog gets an anti inflammatory AND tramadol. I asked the Dr Please cant you give her something for the pain, I hate seeing her at home in so much pain. I said to the Dr ( an Indian Dr) that we are treating my dog better that we are treating MIL . The Dr said to me well she is not a dog. I told the Dr, I realize that but I am saying we are treating a DOG BETTER! She said I do not want to give her medicine and one night she does not wake up. At this point I was MAD. I said listen she IS going to die one night, she is dying right now. She is old, has many chronic diseases and is going to DIE.
Why cannot they give her a Tylenol with codeine? ANYTHING, Because friends, you have to increase the medicine this way, that is the way we have to do it.
Ah ha!
We are not treating a patient, we are going by the book that the government has laid out for treatment.
Take step x, then y. Do not look at the patient as an individual, this is the way the book says do it. So I took the medicine, knowing that they are not giving her even the amount my DOG is getting and said, so when will this work, by when should she feel better. They said today, in one day.
Well I woke up and was getting ready for work, MIL came out hunched over and shaking from pain. I asked how her night was, she slept a little better, but she cannot stand or sit, and was hunched over and miserable.
I told her to call the center, that they misinterpret me and think I am trying to put my MIL down?!
I told her you call them, tell them you are still in pain, I will call from work and see how you are doing.
Folks, if she has cancer and was in hospice they would make her comfortable. What is any different about the end of our life then. She goes nowhere, she lives in our house, and loves on the dogs, and loves watching old movies. We know she is in the process of leaving this earth, just like we ALL are. But she is closer than others. Why then can we not make her comfortable? Why can we not say, ok, so her life is small, and right now , she is being watched over by family, lets at least make her comfortable!
Ug, I am just rambling on now, but it is frustrating and hard to see someone in that kind of pain not being heard.
I pray so much that 2016 brings some changes to Obama Care, it has so screwed up our health care system. We are no longer people, but a product, a thing to be treated according to their check list, and because she is in this program, she agrees to having to have their Drs treat her. Maybe I made a mistake?
Say a short prayer for her pain to ease if you are a praying sort?
Peace and Blessings
LTW
My mother in law lives with us, and has for 13 years. I will be the first to say this has not been easy, not so much because of her, but the crap I have to deal with from his family.
No, it has been hard to loose our privacy, I have to be honest. I sometimes think it lead to Handsome running away and having his affair. I have to be honest, sometimes I have felt like running away from all of the responsibility.
Not today though. My MIL is 87, has chronic diseases, too many to list. The fact of the matter, they told me when she came to us that she would not last a year. 13 years ago. Somehow we have managed all her problems to at least keep her happy and out of a nursing home. As she has aged and gotten worse we enrolled her in a State program ( she is destitute, which is why she came to us), that is designed to keep people out of the nursing home, and help the family that is caring for the elder person. I was having a terrible time keeping up with her appointments and my full time work. Something was going to have to give, and I was afraid she was going to end up in a nursing home after all. That is when we enrolled her, the caveat being, she had to be treated by their Dr,s in their center's. She goes to the center twice a week for social interaction and therapy, and if she needs to see the dr or nurse, she can on those days. It has been a big help. Until now. And I don't know what to do.
She is in pain, terrible awful pain. Pain that they are having a hard time "pinning down" because she is hard to talk to. It is much too long of a story, but because of her LIFE until she came to us, she HAD to be compliant, so she answers any question with what she thinks you want to hear. It is hard, very hard if you do not know her.
Yesterday I could not take it, I called them and insisted they see her that day, I would leave work and take her. She is loosing weight rapidly, and looking awful. She cannot sit from the pain, she cannot stand. Now I understand that her health is frail. I understand that you cannot give her huge pain medicine BUT they are not giving her any pain relief. They have diagnosed sciatica on both sides, which I don't believe is the cause, it is very rare to have on both sides. I would like a colonoscopy, she has blood in her stool. She is on 200 mg a day of gabapentin for pain, and that dose my friends is lower than the dose I am giving my 50 pound elderly DOG, plus the dog gets an anti inflammatory AND tramadol. I asked the Dr Please cant you give her something for the pain, I hate seeing her at home in so much pain. I said to the Dr ( an Indian Dr) that we are treating my dog better that we are treating MIL . The Dr said to me well she is not a dog. I told the Dr, I realize that but I am saying we are treating a DOG BETTER! She said I do not want to give her medicine and one night she does not wake up. At this point I was MAD. I said listen she IS going to die one night, she is dying right now. She is old, has many chronic diseases and is going to DIE.
Why cannot they give her a Tylenol with codeine? ANYTHING, Because friends, you have to increase the medicine this way, that is the way we have to do it.
Ah ha!
We are not treating a patient, we are going by the book that the government has laid out for treatment.
Take step x, then y. Do not look at the patient as an individual, this is the way the book says do it. So I took the medicine, knowing that they are not giving her even the amount my DOG is getting and said, so when will this work, by when should she feel better. They said today, in one day.
Well I woke up and was getting ready for work, MIL came out hunched over and shaking from pain. I asked how her night was, she slept a little better, but she cannot stand or sit, and was hunched over and miserable.
I told her to call the center, that they misinterpret me and think I am trying to put my MIL down?!
I told her you call them, tell them you are still in pain, I will call from work and see how you are doing.
Folks, if she has cancer and was in hospice they would make her comfortable. What is any different about the end of our life then. She goes nowhere, she lives in our house, and loves on the dogs, and loves watching old movies. We know she is in the process of leaving this earth, just like we ALL are. But she is closer than others. Why then can we not make her comfortable? Why can we not say, ok, so her life is small, and right now , she is being watched over by family, lets at least make her comfortable!
Ug, I am just rambling on now, but it is frustrating and hard to see someone in that kind of pain not being heard.
I pray so much that 2016 brings some changes to Obama Care, it has so screwed up our health care system. We are no longer people, but a product, a thing to be treated according to their check list, and because she is in this program, she agrees to having to have their Drs treat her. Maybe I made a mistake?
Say a short prayer for her pain to ease if you are a praying sort?
Peace and Blessings
LTW
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