sad, crazy dog lady

We have dogs.  Three dogs right now, all Australian Sheherds.  We have been raising or had Aussies for the last 15 years or so. Maybe you could call us crazy dog people, but they bring us such joy.
The hardest thing about owning a pet, almost any pet is the fact that you know they will not live your whole life, and odds are you will be tasked with ending their lives, for what ever reason.
Our first Aussie was just stunning but had immune system issues since her puppy hood. We took her to vets, changed foods, used steroids, and anything else that we could think of to try to help her, and at five years old, on the same day my nephew was killed in the war in Iraq, we had to put our beloved dog down. She told us it was time.  Little did we know that an hour after the decision and appointment was made we got a phone call that our nephew was killed by an RPG, he was 24.  When we took our dog to the vet we were a wreck. The family was scrambling to make all the arrangements that needed made for our nephew, life had suddenly put us in the news as it were. We went in with our dear dog, and held her and told her we loved her, and to go find our nephew who would be waiting with a frisbee for him. My Handsome WEPT over that dog, not just for the dog, but for the little boy who he used to chase around, the little boy who played with our sons, he wept for the future he would never have, and he wept over the best dog he had ever owned,
If you do not know Australian Shepherds, well, once you get one, you will never get another type of dog again.  They are so incredibly SMART, and they are biddable, meaning if they feel you want something of them, they will do whatever it takes to make you happy with them.  All my aussies were completely house broke in one week, if that.  I have had one aussie become a therapy dog, and I have had two canine good citizens. People also say that like potato chips you cant have just one lol, and that has proven true, with us.
About a month after loosing our nephew and best friend, we decided that we have been sad for a month, nothing was making us smile.  Soooo, we started the hunt for another Aussie.  We found our beautiful Bella at a dairy farm about an hour away, she was a true stock dog, and came from some wonderful lines.  We brought her home and found our smiles again.  Anybody who ever had a puppy knows that you cannot help but laugh and smile at their antics.
In the meantime I had met a woman with Aussies in my area, and she was familiar with my lines.  After much consideration, and testing, we decided to breed our black tri girl to her red merle male. We knew we wanted one dog out of the litter, and the stud owner wanted a male blue merle for her breeding program in the future.  Alas, our girl had NINE puppies and not one of them would work for the stud owner. That was probably the most fun 8 weeks our family ever had!  Nine roly poly little pups of all colors~then our poor girl got mastitis.  She recovered from it, but go pretty sick so we decided even though we wanted one more litter from her, that we would spay her because she really gave to the cause. Well because of that we could not help ourselves, it was our excuse to keep TWO pups lol. So we kept a beautiful red tri, and a lovely blue merle bitch, and we thought down the road, we would breed the girl or use our boy as a stud dog.  Well fate stepped in and our female we kept, developed epilepsy. As a result we spayed her, and our boy being a stud was taken off the table.
Well after 8 years of a valiant fight we put her down.  We spared no expense in helping her to live a good and as long a life as possible. We wept.
For a bit we kept ourselves at two dogs, but we noticed that our mama dog was slowing down significantly and our male was desperately missing his sibling, they played every single day.  Well I got an email some months later that there was an aussie litter in rescue and they were looking for experienced homes.  So what do I do? I call handsome, send him a picture, and he sends me on my way to go get our pup!  We know we will never have just one dog, dogs are pack animals and do much better in a pack, (its true really!) We had said we would wait until our mama dog was gone to get another one, but we noticed that our male was sad, like really sad.  He had nobody to run the yard with and chase birds lol.  Soooo we brought home a puppy. Our male was ticked off! We told him hey this little guy is for you!
So we are now a three dog family.
But our mama bear is not doing well.  She is twelve, and has terrible arthritis in her hips and back.  I am doing everything in my power to help her, she is on many medications to treat inflammation and pain, and they really seemed to help her be more comfortable.  But she has lost almost all muscle in her back legs.  She also has cataracts, and I think is getting slightly deaf. I wanted to let her live until she just died from old age, she has been such a blessing to us, she brought our smiles back, and gave us our beautiful puppies.
I left for work today, and she could not make it up the steps from outside.  She is still a happy dog, please dont think I am leaving her in pain, I would never do that.  I have had to put down many dogs, and I always wait for them to tell me. I dont think mama will tell me, I think she is still a happy dog, who just cant get around like she used to. I cried on my way to work.  I think the end will be soon, and much sooner than I wanted or expect. I wanted to let her just grow old and die, but I dont think that is going to happen, I think I will eventually have to take matters into our hands and that breaks my heart.
I am spoiling her rotten now, if she wants a bite of pizza, by gosh she gets it.  You want to ride in the car, come on!
Belly rubs, let me help you.
I want to make her remaining time as pleasant and fun as possible.
She gave us so very much in her life, the least I can do is spoil her rotten till the end of hers.





Peace and Blessings
LTW ( and mama bear)

no matter how old your kids are

No matter how old your children get, when they are hurting, you are hurting right along with them.  When someone has hurt them you hurt right along with them, you want to serve up retribution on a silver platter.  The mama bear does not go away, even when your kids are almost thirty.

My son called us last night. His debit card was hacked in FL, and they took most of his money. My son is a hard working husband and father.  He works so hard so his wife can stay home with the twins, he works a second job on Saturdays just to make ends meet, after working overtime at his normal job from 5 am til 10 am. He does not begrudge this at all, he wants his wife to be with the kids, and he is willing to sacrifice what ever it takes to do that, he knows it is only a few years that he needs to do this, as  it goes so fast. My boy suffers with anxiety like his mama does, and his anxiety got so bad over this he felt like he was gonna faint, and that makes my heart hurt. I know what that feels like, it is the most awful feeling in the world. He has so many responsibilities and this was just the icing on the cake for him. He said to me, why would they take from someone who has so little to spare.....
I know he should get his money back, but it takes time, time they do not have when paying bills and feeding a family.  Handsome and I will help as much as is possible. I just feel so bad for my first born, he is struggling to do the right things, and gets hammered as a result.

It is coming, I believe the more we are hacked and our id thefts are going up, it will be no time at all for the government or someone to propose some device that will be implanted in us so that there can be no id theft ect.
I fear that is coming.

 Did a bunch of planting this weekend, got most of my tomatoes in, peas and onions and potatoes are doing great, Planted my herbs, my bok choy and boston lettuces are doing well. I have melons in the front yard doing their thing, I decided that I have too many flowers in my front yard, and I have killer dirt out there, why not grow other things in there as well, like food! So in and among my perennial flower beds I have tomatoes and basil growing, a few pepper plants as well as the melons and pumpkins!

Life is moving along, faster every day.
Peace and Blessings
LTW

The "burden" on responsible men

I was talking with my oldest child, a son, and he told me of having panic attacks sometimes when thinking about caring for his family, wife, and 2 year old twins.  He owns a home ( well the bank still owns it) and they have 2 reliable cars.  His house is small and well within their budget, they were wise and did not listen to lenders who said they could borrow more.  My son is very frugal as we are.
We are all blue collar, my Handsome, and my 2 sons.  I wish that my children had chosen collage, but it was not to be, and they are such incredibly hard workers, that I never worry about them providing for themselves. My son and daughter in law are trying very hard to keep her home with the twins, and this has meant cutting back considerably, but to them it is worth it and I applaud their effort, many people say they cannot survive without two incomes. But I say nonsense, you can, you choose not to make the hard choices.  Now I do not want to cast a wide net, some really do need two incomes, there are circumstances I understand.  But my son bought a small inexpensive house so they could do this.  They do not have tons of stuff.  They hope to sell this house when the kids hit school and buy a slightly larger home, and that will be when DIL can have a part time job.  They sacrifice a lot to do this, but it is so very worth it.
But, I digress, when I spoke with my son about his anxiety attack, I told him that it is completely understandable.  HE is the one responsible for providing everything for his family, that is a huge responsibility, and yes sometimes a burden. It weighs him down sometimes, not because he is not able to do it, but he worries about the what if's.  I told him to talk with his father, as I could help counsel him, but I cannot put myself in his shoes.  Handsome took care of us, his family.  I went to work after #2 was in school, we lived ( and still do) in a very small house. Three bedrooms, one bathroom, and right now 4 adults, but at one time I had 2 boys in school, handsome, me and MIL using one bathroom.  Did it stink,( not actually lol) yes. But we lived well within our means which meant that one time when Handsome was out of work ( for 3 weeks , but we did not know how fast he would find a job) we knew we could both work 2 minimum wage jobs or deliver pizza or whatever to make it work, we could cancel so many "things" but we would not loose the roof over our heads.

So #1 son spoke to Handsome, and we both found out that Handsome did not sleep thru the night he said for 2 years worrying about having the money to care for his family. It is a huge responsibility for a man. I think we as women seldom can really understand the weight they can feel at times.  Now when we first bought our home, Handsome was not a Christian, so that I think handicaps a person, he did not have the knowledge that the Lord promises to take care of us, that we need to cast our worries upon him.  We both now are Christians, and he has seen God bless us over and over when we thought we might not make it. My son was raised a Christian, but I am afraid he has strayed from his faith.  I know he is saved, but right now he is not in a relationship with Christ, and that handicaps him.  He is taking all the worry on his back and not letting God help him carry the burden of worry. But I know he will be ok, he is an amazingly hard worker, with a good blue collar job.  He is a loving and caring husband, and such a beautiful father, he needs to look and see how much God is taking care of him!

I see so many single mothers that have no help with fathers of children, men who do not take the responsibility of raising those children, the opportunity to be blessed and to bless those children.  They run from the "burden" instead of manning up and doing what God equipped them for.  It breaks my heart especially because children learn what they live, and I fear for a generation of boys who are not being taught that when they have a family, they have a God given gift of providing for those people who depend on him, and they run from it. They are teaching that to the boys they bring into this world. We need good strong men, whether they are blue collar or not, to be teaching our boys that the responsibility is great on them, but it is a GIFT from God, and HE WILL care for them, He will let them cast their worries on Him, and He will equip them if they only turn to Him.

I pray for my husband and sons daily that their burden is lightened and they are free from anxiety.  I think all wives and mothers of boys need to let them express this fear, realize that more men I think feel this than actually say it out loud.  I am so thankful that my Handsome worked hard, sometime long long hours to provide for his family, and to do it so well that I never felt that anxiety.  He kept it to himself, which I wish he had shared, but at least now, I can recognize it and advise my sons.  Their father can advise them and hopefully they will go to God to get His advice.
If your husband makes it possible for you to be home, or to put a roof over your head, and feed you, and take that responsibility on himself we need to acknowledge it and pray for them.
I leave you with this

1 Timothy 3:1-7 ESV

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? ...

Husbands, God is telling you that the task He gave you is NOBLE~live like you believe that!

Peace and Blessings

LTW