Insurance rant

I broke down and made an appointment with the Dr. who did the epidural injections in my back. I could not take the pain any longer. I had them about four years ago,maybe five, and after three of them I was out of pain, until now.  I doctored it for months, it is a birth defect in my back, that will probably eventually need surgery, but not until I have run out of options. Nothing is helping.  I made an appointment with said Dr. before vacation to get some type of pain relief so that I could enjoy my vacation, kayak, walk, you know, vacation stuff.  He gave me short term steroids and some pain meds and I made it ok.  I agreed to a shot because I am in so much pain that I would have said yes to anything.
That was a month ago.  As the day (today) came to get it done I started having such anxiety about the bill that I ended up cancelling the appointment.  I have been crying and angry since then.  I have insurance, if you want to call it that.  I know I have ranted about this before, but since Obama care,  my insurance is TERRIBLE, we have a NINE THOUSAND $ DEDUCTIBLE. So they do not pay anything until you have hit $9000.  I could not do it.  I could not go thru with burdening my family and myself with that bill.
So I called, cancelled and asked for a oral steroid.  I was in so much anxiety thinking about all the other things we need, and the money we don't have.  I decided that I will see if this will work as a short term patch.
I think this is what those idiots who wanted Obama care wanted. They wanted people to stop just going to the Dr to get fixed.  No more on demand health care for the middle class (which I think we are very very low middle class, you know paycheck to paycheck,now that we pay almost one paycheck to insurance we don't use, and only have in case of catastrophic illness).  No, but I know people personally that are getting surgery done on every ailment they have.  They are younger too.  I just turned 52. My Handsome is 54.  We are getting to the age where we are starting to have issues.  But we can't or won't get them fixed because we can't afford to.  Where are my subsidies?  Where is my hand out? Why do I have to live in pain, yet those who never even tried to get health insurance before this can get whatever they need?
My rant on many levels is based on this fact.  THEY COULD HAVE BOUGHT LOW COST HEALTH INSURANCE BEFORE!
I cannot stand when they say "well I could not get insurance before". Yes you could have. You could have bought insurance at anytime, but you said no, it was too expensive, so you opted out.  You chose not to purchase it.  Me, we chose to take jobs that offered it, and we PAID for it.  Yes we paid for it back then too, only they did not force this unreasonable deductible on us. They did not make it so that we have to chose food, mortgage or pain relief.  YOU chose not to buy insurance when you could have. Now the responsible people are paying for your idiocy.
I cry today. I cry because I cannot get relief unless I want to go into debt bigger than a small car. I cry because what will happen when I need more pain medicine? Am I going to be seen as a druggy? Or will they accept that Obama care has placed me in this situation.
Those of you, those who said they could not get insurance before, you did not care before because most did not have a house they could loose.  Well I do, and I cannot do the irresponsible thing and just run up a bill, because of the very real possibility of loosing my home.
So I suffer, and cry, and pray that this country will vote for the people who have the ability to help us.
Peace and Blessings
LTW