the impact of an affair, a story I read

I found a blog about in the blogosphere about infidelity written by the injured wife.  The rage and almost insanity in her words hurts me to read.  This blog "A Year After the Affair" does a bang up job of showing how this affects a person, how it makes them into something they werent before DDay.
But what hurts me is to read of her absolute insanity and the actions she took.  They were out of control, harmful to her and her family.  To say they were crazy would not be out of line.  She knows it to, she realizes now how crazy she was.  It took her a year though before she realized how out of control she was.

I know that the implications of an affair are long and wide reaching, and there is bitterness.  But I thank God, after reading her anger and reading how she handled it, I am so thankful that I listened to the Lords leading in this situation. No matter what happens to me, I am still called to respond as a Christian.  Does it mean I did not say hurtful mean things? No, I said them all right.  Did it mean I was a doormat that just said, well I forgive you but you dont have to work at it.?
I screamed, I yelled, I cried, and I envisioned horrible things happening to the other woman. But I realized real quickly that if I wanted my marriage to last, i could not go crazy.
Had I gone crazy like this woman did, we would NOT have reconciled.  My Handsome would have recoiled and said, no way do I want to be with this woman.
Heck I had to convince him that it was possible for me to forgive.  According to him at our second counseling session, he wanted to reconcile but could not figure out how I could forgive.  Once I convinced him that I forgive him, then we could do the work of reconciliation.
This woman was crazy for a year.  I mean crazy, things she did hurt me to even read them.  She was out of control.  She had no one to help her see the error of her ways. I hope that God would have convicted me of the crazies fast.  Actually I think He did that for me.
I just have to remember when I feel badly, that part of my healing has been I have an awsome God to lean on, and His word to look to for advice.
And if you are reading this, and think you will never make it out of this alive and sane, let me tell you , YOU WILL.
Give it time, and if you are reconciling, the quicker you forgive, and I mean REALLY forgive, you will be starting the path to healing yourself.
Listen to that inner voice, God reaches out to us with that voice.
There is always hope.
Peace and Blessings.