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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

what a break this has been

I have been enjoying my home.  I have been enjoying my Handsome.  My MIL has been in rehab now for almost a week and gone almost ten days.  I feel terrible, but I do not miss her. Our lives feel so normal.  I asked Handsome, "why is it so much more comfortable around here, it isnt like his mom is really in the way or even says much? "
Handsome replied, "because this is what a normal house feels like".  He is right.  I dont want to like this so much. I swore I would never put any of my family members in one, and I cant put her in one if I can help.  But that was 13 years ago.  I had small kids then, life was different.  I did not have the opportunity to be alone in my house.  Now I do, and I want it dang it!

I got the call, she is coming home monday.  I want to be happy, I really do.  It is the right  thing to do.  But I can see things I could not see before, and she makes Handsome and I hold back, in conversation, physical attention.  All of it.
I want to do the right thing.
I just wish the right thing wasn't so hard.

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