So how long does it take to recover from an Emotional Affair

This is a question I get asked sometimes.  How long did it take you guys to recover from Handsome's EA?  In the beginning it was easy to say we are in recovery every day.  But after 3 years, I think people want to hear that its all better, that your marriage is strong, you have forgiven and forgotten, blah blah.
Guess what I have found out? Like alcoholics I truly think it is a battle you struggle with for the rest of your life. I do not think the wayward spouse thinks about it so much, at least after the initial impact on them is gone.  But the person who was betrayed, they deal with it, at least in my case, at a much slower rate. Now again in my case, I HAD to forgive him, because there was no forward momentum until forgiveness happened.  Then the second step comes into play, forgetting.
Here's the thing, you will never forget.  I compare it to quitting smoking for me.  For two months at least, every minute of every day I thought, "I want/need a smoke!".  Then one day, I realized that a couple hours went past and I had not thought of wanting a smoke ONCE! Till that moment of course.  Then after a year, it was less, I would still have my moments where I could just taste how good it would be after dinner (blech).
Now it is 14 years since I quit, and very seldom do I think about cigarettes in a longing way.  Yet every now and again I think, boy an after dinner smoke would be soooo nice.  Now it is very seldom, but it does come up, and when it does I have to deal with it.

I think an EA is the same.  I went at least a year to a year and a half where every minute of every day my mind spun with the things Handsome said to me, and the things my imagination made come alive. I would dream it if I did not think about it. It came out and I had to deal with it, minute by minute.  Then hour by hour.  Then day by day. The same way I had to deal with the quitting of smoking. There are days and days, or weeks, or months when I don't ever think about it.
Then BAM, some stupid thing brings up something that was said or done, ( that is called a trigger by the way), and I feel myself getting emotional about our marriage, or I notice one thing maybe he did, and compare it to something he said back then, and if I am not very careful, and go to God, then the thoughts get bigger and I get more insecure by the minute.

It will be four years since DDay and although I can say with confidence I have forgiven,  Forgetting is a slow and long road.
One day I will reach the end of that road I am sure.  I do know that the destination is worth every bruise to get there.

Peace and Blessing