The Five Love Languages was a book that revolutionized the way I see how to help my partner feel loved. And we are workin on Handsome learning how important they are, so that he will start using those skill on me. If you can, go online, look up the 5 Love Language test, and take it, it may surprise you, or you may say " Oh I already knew that...". But I will say, in thirty years together, I would NEVER have thought that Handsomes primary love language is touch. I figured he was a words of affirmation, and he is, but his most important love language is personal touch. So I make it a point to hug him, pinch his butt ( my very most favorite part) or just give him a quick back rub. I have always given him words of affirmation, because that is one of my love languages, and I know how important that is.
But here is a funny thing I found out. I knew I was a physical touch person, but in reading the book that goes along with the "test" I realized that many many times, I reach out physically to Handsome in order to fulfill my need to be touched. Then I started observing us. He gives me very little physical touch, that is not related to me touching him first. He will touch me, in response to a touch, but very seldom does he initiate the touch. I take what I crave from him, but it is not a substatution for unsolicited loving touch.
And I hear this from so very many women. My husband loves me, I know that, but why doesnt he tell me. If you ask him, he will say, "of course I love you, you know that". To them, the action of caring for you, providing for you, ect, that should show you how much you are loved. To us, a word of love will be carried around with us for days, he loves me! Oh joy, he really really loves me!
You know what folks, talk to him, tell him. My Handsome had no clue. REALLY, no clue. Why you may ask, is he a selfish pig? No. He just doesnt live inside of an emotional world. He knows he loves me, he thinks he shows it every day, why does he have to vocalize it too, sheesh. (this is him thinking) But the other weekend, when I said I finally broke down and told him, "Hey, (me, starts with tears, he cannot stand tears) I am feeling un loved. REALLY really unloved. Handsome gives me a hug, then says, "you KNOW I love you,?" Well yes, my rational mind says yes he loves me, he is still here right? But my love tank is empty. And I need it to feel happy, to make my family happy, to care for us all, as well as myself.
All week, Handsome has talked sweetly, made sure that I knew he indeed does love me, he was happy to make me happy, because as he said, he had no idea how I was feeling.
So anyone who is reading this, (HI) go and google 5 love languages, take the test. If you can, comment on your results, and whether they were a surprise to you, or you knew that about yourself. Then, shoot an email to your spouse, aske them to take it, and then share the results, it will open a great avenue for discussion of needs in a marriage,
And who knows, you may be able to totally fulfill your spouses needs, now that you have a clue of what they are.
Peace friends....
Next time, physical touch
But here is a funny thing I found out. I knew I was a physical touch person, but in reading the book that goes along with the "test" I realized that many many times, I reach out physically to Handsome in order to fulfill my need to be touched. Then I started observing us. He gives me very little physical touch, that is not related to me touching him first. He will touch me, in response to a touch, but very seldom does he initiate the touch. I take what I crave from him, but it is not a substatution for unsolicited loving touch.
And I hear this from so very many women. My husband loves me, I know that, but why doesnt he tell me. If you ask him, he will say, "of course I love you, you know that". To them, the action of caring for you, providing for you, ect, that should show you how much you are loved. To us, a word of love will be carried around with us for days, he loves me! Oh joy, he really really loves me!
You know what folks, talk to him, tell him. My Handsome had no clue. REALLY, no clue. Why you may ask, is he a selfish pig? No. He just doesnt live inside of an emotional world. He knows he loves me, he thinks he shows it every day, why does he have to vocalize it too, sheesh. (this is him thinking) But the other weekend, when I said I finally broke down and told him, "Hey, (me, starts with tears, he cannot stand tears) I am feeling un loved. REALLY really unloved. Handsome gives me a hug, then says, "you KNOW I love you,?" Well yes, my rational mind says yes he loves me, he is still here right? But my love tank is empty. And I need it to feel happy, to make my family happy, to care for us all, as well as myself.
All week, Handsome has talked sweetly, made sure that I knew he indeed does love me, he was happy to make me happy, because as he said, he had no idea how I was feeling.
So anyone who is reading this, (HI) go and google 5 love languages, take the test. If you can, comment on your results, and whether they were a surprise to you, or you knew that about yourself. Then, shoot an email to your spouse, aske them to take it, and then share the results, it will open a great avenue for discussion of needs in a marriage,
And who knows, you may be able to totally fulfill your spouses needs, now that you have a clue of what they are.
Peace friends....
Next time, physical touch
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