todays going on

I know this is somewhat all over the place.  I am trying to find my voice in this big bad blogosphere. I have a story to tell. I truly think that someone out there will have had my experience,or similar.  I cant be the only one who thinks these thoughts, or who have had a husband act badly.
And he did act badly. (come back to the past with me please).

Last time we established my husband was a total jerk, and I decided that maybe I was not a waste of human life, but maybe someone else would find me to be a catch.
So I did what all insecure, single ish women do, I went to the bar and looked for a man. LOL. Now trust me when I say this, do. not. go . to a. bar. to. meet. men.
Did you get that, the bar is full of drunk men, who are just looking for fun.  And although I would have been good for my self esteem, (look at all those men staring at me) they were losers, and if I was going to find another man, then I was going to find a WINNER.

So I went on a date. Funny thing happened when I got home, I found my fifty five gallon fish tank busted,and all my fish dead on the floor.  I thought I had been broken into. I was appalled and scared. I called the police, because I had no idea what happened! They then realized, that there was no forced entry, that whoever did this, had to have had a key. I knew there was nobody other than Handsome and I who have a key. HMM?
So I call Handsome and say oh my someone broke in, but they used a key. Would you, Handsome, have a clue as to who this could be? You betcha he did!  It was him, Handsome himself that did that. Why you ask?  Get ready to laugh, he did it because I was out on a date.  Yes you read that correctly, I was on a date.  Now lets all remember why he left his supposedly happy marriage?  Think back, I will wait.

OH YEAH! HE LEFT FOR ANOTHER WOMAN! HAHAHA
So answer me dear reader, how on earth could he come in here and be jealous?
It is funny how a mans mind works sometimes.  Handsome was fine with leaving for someone other than his wife, but do NOT let another man come sniffing around her, oh no, that we cannot have.  How funny is that? In his mind it sounded like this "I may not want her but dang it, NOBODY else will have her or my son either" ar ar ar....
We had some battles over this, but really you can picture it in your head I am sure. It was a turning point in my recovery from what he had done to me.  I realized that others find me attractive, and Handsome must still have feelings for me.  This gave me power, and a sense of strength that I did not have.
There is much more to this story, and it will unfold in the next few days.
I realize some will not care about this, and that is ok. I have wanted to tell this story my way for many many years.  If nobody in the world reads it, that is ok, because I will finally after all these years, have a place to put it, and place to be completely honest with myself about my now.  But unfortunatly , there is no way to make sense of the current issues, without knowing what shaped this marriage.  And let me tell you, we have had tons of shaping! Our current issues, wrap around our past, no matter who you may be.

Part three of Handsome Hubs was a real jerk tomorrow.