My last post was about decisions, and me making an important one. I decided to not say one more word about him going to church with me. He knew I was upset, and I could have kept acting as if I was upset, but that would accomplish nothing at all. So I will wait.
I can tell he is more comfortable knowing I am not "mad" at him. Just sad. One thing that Handsome does is confuse sadness with anger. Any emotion other than happy, is mad or anger in his eyes. He comes from such a messed up family, that had no clue how to love. It breaks my heart to think of his early years, in a cold family with an abusive father. It is what has caused him to be so unable to communicate, his family NEVER communicated. I could not believe my ears when he told me he NEVER remembers anyone in his family saying "I love you" to him, or anyone else. I tell my loved ones every day I love them, that is the family I grew up in. He thanks me for teaching him that expressing love is ok. but he is never going to be completely comfortable with it. I still feel like I am pulling teeth to get him to show his affection, to be vocal about it.
So I wait, and I pray, and I am as loving as I can be.
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