Oh dear what a week it has been. Last week I lost a dear family member, who lives out of state. I made very fast travel plans to go to the funeral. God worked it out so that I could go, and I am so glad I did. I have not seen my extended family in a few (many ) years. When I go back, I get my love tank filled to overflowing. My cousins and I, it felt like we never lived apart. My family there just loved on me, and made me feel great. They showed appreciation for my coming (not that that is the reason I went), when I told them about life now, how I have cared for my Mother in law in my home for 13 years, they showed me appreciation, complimented me on doing it. I have tried to tell everyone, I do this because this is what God expects of me. We are to care for our parents, and I would never put my family in a nursing home, so why should it be different for Handsomes family.
Well,I came home from the funeral, to find MIL collapsed. Took her to hospital, she was in congestive heart failure, plus the 18 other things that are wrong with her.
Now let me set the stage. Handsome is one of four living kids. Handsome has a family member younger than him, who had a devastating stroke a little more than a year ago. He lives in town. My MIL has been very steadily going down hill, and I expect she does not have long in this world. I have, for over three years, been trying to tell her daughter that lives five hours away, that her mother is getting steadily worse. This daughter asked the other daughter "why is longtime telling me mom is getting worse, does she want her in a nursing home?" I could not believe it, I told her it was because I did not want her mother to die before she had a chance to see her mother. If I wanted her in a nursing home, I would not ask her permission.
So basically Handsome shamed her into coming to see her family. But her and I had words. Handsome and I called her out, told her how we feel about the fact that she never visits. She told me she was caring for a critically ill boyfriend, yet she has been to Ocean City many times, she went to visit her daughter many times, but NEVER EVER CAME TO SEE HER MOTHER.
Well, now I am the one that is the bad guy. Sister in law wont talk to me, other one is avoiding me. I am feeling so low today, I want to cry when I think about it. I would give my right arm to be able to drive only five hours to see my mom, but she is halfway around the country. I STILL make it home to her 2 times a year, and talk twice a week. Two mothers days in a row, TWO, this sister in law never even called her mother. But I am the bad guy. I am the bitch. I care for her mother, but because I told her the truth that she did not want confronted with, I am the bad guy, that is tearing the family apart. My brother in law, that had a stroke at a young age, whose wife abandoned him at the hospital. I found him a nursing home, by my house so that we could be close by. I make sure to pick him up every week for church, and sunday dinner. I arranged for two men to do a weekly bible study.
if it was up to his family,handsom included sit in that nursing home and never leave.
But I am the bad guy.
Jesus tells us in this life there will be troubles, and that for doing what He wants we may be persecuted.
I just never expected it from family.
Peace and blessings.
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